Volume: 132
Issue: April - May 2011

Sony Introduces New Woodworking Game

Story by Markmy Words
Photos by Coda Chrome

Sony Corporation announced today that it has released an exciting new video game, called Dovetail or Die, aimed at the woodworker.   The player uses his Playstation console joystick to virtually cut a set of pins and tails while being attacked by aliens wearing plaid shirts and brandishing laser guided cordless drills.

“Our standard line of Playstation games do not appeal to men 50 and older” said a Sony spokesperson.  “Our marketing research told us that we needed a game more in tune with the interests of these men, and further research told us that  a woodworking theme would get us into this important demographic.  Old people are living longer than ever, so we see this as a growing market, not just some niche to be exploited.”

Reviewers of the game cited the lame graphics and slow pace of the game.  But Sony responded that unlike younger video game users, the audience for this new game has diminishing eyesight and slowing reflexes, so the game was designed to accommodate those limitations.  “We also don’t want to be responsible for heart attacks that might accompany high speed action.   We want to build our customer base, not send them to the grave.”  

Pricing for the new game had not been set at the time of this report.  A spokesperson for Sony would only say "We know it has to be priced low since most of these guys are pretty tight with a buck."

Rumors persist that Nintendo does not want to cede this market to Sony.  Allegedly they plan to compete by introducing Bandsaw Hero for the Wii video console next month.

 

***Information in this story gleaned from an April 1st press release from Sony Corporation.***